This question is one I just had a conversation with my mother about a few days ago. What does it mean to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Does it hold any weight? Does it really mean much? Nowadays, it seems like less and less people enter into monogamous relationships and truly stick to it. “What is the reason for this?” Some may ask.
There is no real rhyme or reason as to why society changes as the years go by. As I said In my earlier post, despite society YOU have to live for YOU how YOU want to live it. If you don’t want to be in a relationship then don’t, but if you do.. then there are things that you should take into consideration prior to going down that road.
- Go out and meet new people (you aren’t going to find him watching tv)
- Ask the right questions (this is how you get to know people and make sure when asking questions you aren’t shying away from touching on the things that are most important to you so you can know if this is even a good match)
- Don’t act like you are “together” if you aren’t (For example, if your teacher will give you an A if you don’t turn in an assignment and give you the same A if you write a 10 page paper… are you going to put in the work and write the 10 page paper? My guess is no.. So, don’t give a man what he hasn’t worked for or he won’t work for it)
- Know yourself. (you can’t love and understand somebody else and expect them to do the same for you if you don’t love and understand yourself. So, don’t rush it and take time to get to know what you like/dislike and who you are so you can properly communicate your wants/needs and expectations and also what you can bring to the table.)
These are just a few basic considerations when trying to get to know people to even think of taking that next step.
I think a lot of people view boyfriend/girlfriend like something you enter into after you know completely everything about one another, have already been intimately involved and almost are sick of each other at that point lol but that’s not true. I think that entering into that relationship is just a verbal commitment (because ain’t no ring on anybody’s finger and no legal documentation signed lol) to be committed to learning and focusing on one another – dispelling distractions. That to me is what bring boyfriend/girlfriend means. And to others, this may mean something different, but I don’t think people should wait years to enter into this understanding. Thats where communication comes in. Two people come together and communicate what they are going to do and do it.. together.. and try your very best not to deviate from what was discussed. There is no blueprint. There is no puzzle. So, relax and don’t be afraid to take chances! Also, great news – If it doesn’t work out its not the end of the world. (Although it may seem like it periodically) That’s the whole point to experiment and figure out what you like and don’t like so when the perfect person for you comes along you will be able to realize just how special they are 🙂